Why do I feel like such a disappointment? Just, all the time...
I've failed so many people... family, friends, you name it.
Not only did I let them down, but also one person I swore to never, ever let down.
And yet, the time that I let them down has come.
I wish it would've never happened, you know? I wish I just had the balls to talk to them.
I'm 100% sure if I did it soon enough, I would've been on-time, and things would've been fine.
Now, not only have they lost their trust in me, but they don't want to talk to me either.
I could've helped them... and now it's all over, I simply don't know what to do.
I wish they would just listen to me... I'm trying to help, and honestly, I really don't want to give up, but it's starting to feel like I have no other choice.
Ever since my fuck-up from months ago this has been going on. They won't listen, and they're stuck in a pit of despair.
I've exhausted my options on how to help.
All I want is to have them back in my life...
Things have honestly been tough since then. There's been so much weight on my shoulders, and I still haven't gotten rid of it.
Not that I really have a way to, though. It's just... there.
Another person has been a major help in assisting me with coping, but I really don't want to depend on that for very long...
Not that I don't like that person, I just don't want to be dependent on someone.
I wish this would all just pass.
Wake up, and think: "Oh, this was all just a bad, bad dream."
The tough reality of it, though, is the fact that it's not a dream, but a terrible string of events that I can't get out of.
It's like a loop. Every month since the initial event, so much bad stuff has happened, and I don't know what to do about it.
I just wish I could walk away from it all...